Why consider them
An affair solves "I want something different" by keeping a secret. These options solve it by being open about it, which avoids the biggest risk, a partner finding out.
The options
1. An honest conversation. Tell your partner what's missing. It's harder than an affair and can be transformative.
2. Couples counselling or sex therapy. A neutral third party helps both of you say what you need.
3. Ethical non-monogamy. Open relationships, swinging and polyamory all involve all partners knowing and agreeing. They need rules, honesty and regular check-ins.
4. A trial separation or ending the relationship. If the gap is too big, leaving openly may be more honest than staying and straying.
5. Solo exploration. Therapy, new hobbies, travel and friendships can fill the gap without a new partner.
Is it for you?
Open arrangements only work if everyone really consents. Pressuring a reluctant partner isn't ethical non-monogamy.
FAQs
What is ethical non-monogamy?
Relationships where everyone knows and agrees that partners may see others.
How do I bring it up?
Start with what you want to feel, not a demand: "I've been thinking about what we might be missing."
Is an affair ever the right choice?
That's your call. We want you to make it knowing the alternatives.