The ladder
- Username and vibe. Interests and chat.
- Locked photos. Unlock for one person at a time.
- First name or nickname. Not necessarily your real one.
- Live video call. Proves you're real without sharing a file.
- Real details. Only if you have a reason to.
Why slow works
- Screenshots exist. You can't un-send a photo.
- Names are searchable. A full name plus a city is enough to find your socials.
- It filters out scammers. People who push fast are often the risk.
What to hold back for longer
Surname, employer, street, school, children's details, car registration, and any photo with a face and identifiable background together.
How to say no gracefully
"I like to take things slowly with the personal stuff. Happy to video chat first." A person who respects that is worth meeting.
FAQs
Should I ever share my real name?
Only if you want to, and not before you trust the person.
Is a first name safe?
Safer than a full name, but common names are easier to hide behind.
What if they push for photos?
That's a red flag. See Guide 21.