How to Talk About Consent, Limits and What You Both Want

The basics

• Enthusiastic: a yes, not an absence of no.
• Ongoing: yesterday's yes doesn't cover today.
• Specific: agreeing to one thing isn't agreeing to everything.
• Revocable: anyone can stop at any time, no explanation needed.
• Sober: alcohol and drugs affect the ability to consent.

Before

Talk about likes, limits and anything that's off the table. A "yes, no, maybe" list is a fun way to do it. "Tell me three things you love and one thing that's a hard no."

During

Check in: "Is this good?" "Want more of this or something else?" It's sexy, not clinical.

After

Debrief: "What did you enjoy? Anything you'd change?"

Safe words

Pick a word that means "stop now," no questions asked.